


Paint the Picture

by hiza-chan (callunavulgari)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-26
Updated: 2012-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-30 03:39:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/327336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callunavulgari/pseuds/hiza-chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing that most people don't understand about Severus Snape is that once upon a time, he respected James Potter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Paint the Picture

**Author's Note:**

> Meme fic - All the Right Moves, OneRepublic

The thing that most people don't understand about Severus Snape is that once upon a time, he respected James Potter. The misconception was cleared up the moment he offered up a tentative smile and a nervous greeting and was promptly laughed away. He shouldn't have expected much from him, considering, but he was eleven and was still under the delusion that the rest of humanity may not be quite as bad as his family.  
  
The fact that the person he had the most hopes for turned out to be his main tormentor for all of his school years is a subtle slap of irony that he will never find amusing.  
  
Lily, though **—** Lily Evans was perfection. She was the embodiment of all those quickly stifled surges of naivety; the one golden shining thing about Severus' life that he could say was perfect.  
  
And then she married James Potter.  
  
And then they died.  
  
The guilt surrounding their deaths will never be something he'll forget, just how he will always think that if she'd married him, maybe things could have been different. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered **—** maybe his loyalties wouldn't be so divided between Dumbledore and the Dark Lord. Maybe he could have had a life, as a husband and a mentor. Maybe he could have been happy; finding that hope when he taught his students rather than seeing a little bit of James Potter in all of them.  
  
Guilt is something he is far too intimate with. Guilt is every moment that he sees Lily in her sons eyes, and tries to quickly stifle those thoughts. Harry Potter is not Lily Evans, and though he is loathe to admit it **—** he isn't James Potter either. He's clever, for all that Severus likes to heap blame upon him, as if Harry Potter is the sole reason behind losing Lily.  
  
Harry Potter though, is a boy **—** a boy that is also a byproduct of Severus' guilt. Maybe it wouldn't be so if Harry's lips weren't as sweet as his hate. Because the thing is, Harry Potter is a teenager, and teenagers love to hate themselves. He tells himself that this is the reason that Harry came to him; the reason that Harry likes to scowl and snap bitter words even as he's settling into Severus' lap. Harry Potter hates himself, and as a teacher **—** a mentor, Severus should discourage that hatred. He should reassure the boy that though the world is burning itself up around them, it has never been his fault. That it's not his sole responsibility to put out the fires.  
  
But Severus Snape has always been a weak man when it comes to his heart, so he watches this boychild build his army **—** watches Lily's son hate himself so much that the only solace he finds is in the arms of a man he claims to hate, and he waits. The world will end for him, but he wants it to last long enough for Harry Potter to remember how to live.


End file.
